What to Do When You Feel Taken for Granted

Being taken for granted can be painful, especially in close relationships, such as those with partners, family members, friends, or colleagues. It often presents as a growing sense that efforts, kindness, or presence are being overlooked or undervalued. Over time, this experience may lead to resentment, emotional fatigue, and withdrawal. This article explores what to do when you feel taken for granted and how to reclaim emotional balance and self-worth.

Understanding the Feeling of Being Taken for Granted

Being taken for granted often involves others assuming the presence of people in their lives, believing that they will always be there, helping or doing things without needing reciprocation or acknowledgment for their contributions. However, this can make those individuals feel like their actions are expected rather than appreciated. 

This issue commonly arises in:

• Romantic relationships where one partner does most of the emotional or physical labour.

• Friendships where one person initiates all contact or support.

• Families where roles become entrenched and unacknowledged.

• Workplaces where competent employees are overloaded without recognition.

Signs You Are Being Taken for Granted

Frequently thinking, "They only come to me when they need something," or "No one ever says thank you," may be a sign of being taken for granted. Other common signs include: 

• Help being expected but never acknowledged.

• Rarely hearing expressions of appreciation.

• Others make assumptions about your time or energy.

• Feeling invisible or undervalued.

• Often saying yes out of guilt or habit—even when it is inconvenient.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward change. Acknowledging the feeling of being taken for granted can help individuals take steps toward reclaiming their boundaries and sense of worth.

Steps to Take When You Feel Taken for Granted

Feeling taken for granted can leave people emotionally drained, invisible, and unappreciated. However, the pain does not have to be permanent. Below are practical steps to help individuals regain their self-worth, communicate their needs, and shift the dynamics of feeling overlooked.

Reflect on the Relationship

Before reacting emotionally, take time to assess the relationship. Ask yourself:

• Has this person always treated me this way?

• Are they aware of how I feel?

• Have I communicated my needs, or have I allowed unspoken expectations to build?

Sometimes people take others for granted because they have unintentionally been trained to expect certain individuals in their lives to always say yes or handle everything. That does not excuse this behaviour, but it provides a starting point for self-reflection and change.

Communicate Your Feelings

One of the most effective steps to take when feeling taken for granted is to speak up. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example:

• "I feel unappreciated when my efforts go unnoticed."

• "I need more recognition or support to feel valued in this relationship."

Let the other person know the emotional effects of their actions (or lack thereof). If they value the relationship, they will likely want to change once they understand your perspective.

Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. Always being available, consistently giving, and never saying no may cause someone's efforts to go unappreciated because it becomes routine. Therefore, it is essential to start saying "no" when appropriate. Setting limits protects one's time and energy, and also demonstrates that one's presence and efforts are valued. 

Examples of clear boundaries may include:

• "I can't help you with that right now."

• "I'm unavailable during that time, but I hope it goes well."

Prioritize Self-Care and Validation

Frequently being taken for granted can make it easy to internalize the message that one's efforts don't matter. That's why self-care and self-validation are crucial. Examples of self-care and validation include: 

• Reminding yourself of your worth.

• Celebrating personal accomplishments—even if no one else does.

• Spending time with people who appreciate you.

• Engaging in activities that replenish emotional energy.

Reevaluate the Relationship If Necessary

If being taken for granted continues after feelings have been communicated and boundaries have been set, then it may be time to reconsider the relationship. 

Ask yourself:

• Is this relationship reciprocal?

• Do I feel emotionally safe and valued?

• Am I growing or shrinking in this dynamic?

It can be an empowering part of healing to take a step back or walk away from relationships that diminish well-being. 

Seek Professional Support

In situations where the feeling of being taken for granted persists or becomes emotionally overwhelming, professional support can offer valuable guidance. A therapist can help identify underlying patterns, clarify emotional needs, and develop effective strategies for communication and boundary setting. Therapy also provides a neutral space for processing complex emotions and exploring the impact of long-standing relational dynamics. 

Model Healthy Connections 

Although it is vital to recognize the signs and feelings of being taken for granted personally, it is equally important to ask if you might be doing the same to others. Make it a habit to express thanks, recognize effort, and check in emotionally with the people in your life. It strengthens trust and deepens connections.

The Path to Recognition and Mutual Respect

Consistently feeling taken for granted can lead to emotional strain and imbalance. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward change. Through reflection, clear communication, healthy boundaries, and professional support, individuals can begin to shift relational dynamics. 

Fostering mutual respect and understanding helps ensure that contributions are noticed and genuinely valued. Every individual has the right to feel seen, heard, and appreciated—not only for what they do, but for who they are. 

Reclaim Emotional Well-Being with Our Therapist Collective

At OntarioTherapists.com, we recognize how being taken for granted can lead to emotional exhaustion, low self-worth, and feeling disconnected from one's needs. Our client-centred approach creates a supportive space where clients can explore their experiences, reconnect with their identity, and begin healing from emotional neglect.

Our psychotherapists have diverse expertise to help clients understand their relationship patterns, express their feelings, and set healthy boundaries without guilt. With personalized sessions, clients can learn to protect their emotional energy, rebuild confidence, and cultivate relationships where they feel truly seen and valued.

Book a free 30-minute consultation by phone or video to learn more. Call us at 647-296-9235 or click here to book your appointment.