I hear you, you’re not comfortable working with a male-identifying therapist. But hear me out! As a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario, I’ve been on both sides of the chair. I know it can be hard finding a psychotherapist in Toronto, but let's not write off the guys, just yet. I’ve worked with men, women and non-binary folks as clients and I’ve received psychotherapy from both men and women. I’ve come to recognize that there are really wonderful benefits of working with a male psychotherapist, here are a few of them:
Healthy modelling of male behaviour. Often, we as women second guess ourselves, especially when we’re dating. We’re told we’re behaving in a way that doesn’t work for someone and maybe we worry about falling into the heteronormative cliche of being a “needy girlfriend”. But let me tell you, when you’re working with a male therapist who is able to validate your thoughts and actions, it takes the pressure off. One of the first benefits of working with a male Psychotherapist is that it can allow space for you to stop blaming yourself and better understand who is not a good fit for you and to better understand yourself.
Healthy attachment and boundaries*. When working with a male therapist, you’ll have the opportunity to build a healthy therapeutic alliance with a male that explores and emphasizes healthy boundaries, respect, communication and autonomy. This creates a wonderful supportive space for you and can help you understand what it feels like to have and express healthy boundaries, to communicate your feelings and be heard and understood. Let me tell you, once you get a taste of that, you’ll never turn back! *This is one the best benefits of working with any psychotherapist, not just a benefit of working with a male psychotherapist!
Helping you see and know that “all men” are not like that. When you’ve been in unhealthy cycles, toxic relationships or abuse, it’s very easy to fall into these cognitive distortions (skewed, biased and often negative thinking patterns). Working alongside a male therapist can help you recognize that not all men behave in those manners. It can help create a space of safety to start rebuilding trust and no longer carry disdain for the gender as a whole.
Please note, this is not meant to portray heteronormative (straight) men, as bad, evil, women-abusing partners. This is meant to help shed light on the positive aspects of working with a male therapist when someone has come out of toxic cycles and relationships as it pertains to my experience with clients and private practice.
If you identify as male and are wondering or considering starting your therapy journey, you could benefit from working with a male therapist as well. Seeing healthy identification and expression of emotions, both negative and positive, modelling of good communication and dispelling toxic masculinity are just a few things you can expect when working with a male therapist.
If I've piqued your interest, check out "Meet the Team" where you'll have the opportunity to book a free 1/2 hour consultation with a male therapist such as David Kraft. David is a Registered Psychotherapist working in Toronto. He see's clients virtually and in person in downtown Toronto.